Thursday, September 23, 2010 — Celebration of a good life

Sunday, September 26th at 2:00 is the day. The celebration of a life well lived is almost here. Our children have been coming and going and helping me to prepare for this day. Leah just flew in from England with her fiddle and will be here by this evening. Susan and Mira arrive from Italy tomorrow and will be here by Saturday afternoon with Steve. I know I couldn't possibly carry this off without their energetic help. Mike has been cutting down the unwanted bushes on the outside of the front fence to allow parking. We had the cedar tree felled because it was listing toward the house and Carlos is busy using Skip's red truck to haul loads of the split logs to the area behind the water tank. The dried out California poppies which have come to visit us so joyously the last few years around the pond area must be weeded out yet because at this stage they are "tripping hazards." Where we are going to place the chairs and then tables for food is yet to be decided. So, you can see there is still much to be done.

Several generous neighbors have offered open areas of their yards and driveways for additional parking. We are so grateful for this contribution. For those who don't know their way to Madsen Lane, we have decided to arrange for sending Larkin out with one of our mini-vans to pick some of them up. If you are one of those, try calling here and asking for a pick-up from a central "in town" location where you are able to safely park your car on Sunday. We can't guarantee that this will work in every instance but it's worth a try. Call 964-5279. If you are in town on Saturday, you can try calling and arranging for a pick-up plan ahead of time. If you are driving all the way to Madsen Lane, I think it's best to come to our house first to drop off your passengers and potluck items and then go out to park at one of the neighbors where there will be signs saying "Skip" or "Wollenberg Overflow Parking."

Every day or so a new musical instrument is added to the list of those expected to be here. We're so happy about that because nothing will make this a celebration to remember more than home made music. There is absolutely nothing that comforts me more. Several weeks ago Sheila Fetzer and our Mike played and sang for me and our friends, the Bartleys when I was suffering most from the new found sadness. I was so moved and comforted by hearing them.

This brings us to the other healing element we are planning for the day. As you might guess, there will be a number of weavers present Sunday. And weavers are known to be some of the best cooks around. Good food, good music and a few games of boule, ping pong, horse shoes, badminton and croquet will complete the picture. One more thing; we'll place a table in the yard with colored pencils and crayons for some of the budding young artists among us.

You'll very likely meet someone you haven't known before. Skip had a diverse group of friends. I think you'll enjoy having good conversations with each other. It will do my heart good to see many of you who are able to be with us Sunday. I really couldn't have made my way to this day without the solace, cards, hugs, and comforting messages you have all contributed. I thank every one of you for helping to keep me sane and functioning over these last weeks.

One last bit of news. Yesterday evening the Fort Bragg Planning commission voted unanimously to approve the design review and permitting of our building project at Pacific Textile Arts. A million thanks to those dear souls who traveled from all over to be at Town Hall to act as a support group for the cause. It went smoothly and it appeared that the commission members felt that our project represents a valuable contribution to this community. I was so relieved to have it over with successfully. If you would like to contribute in Skip's name, there are two causes that we would appreciate being considered. 1) The fund that will finance the moving of two portable buildings given to PTA by the school district for a classroom and Textile arts library space. Donations for his cause can be sent to: Pacific Textile Arts, Building Fund, 450 Alger Street, Fort Bragg, CA 95437, Attention Jackie W. 2) The Skip Wollenberg Scholarship Fund at The Collenge of the Redwoods, Fort Bragg Campus, Fort Bragg, CA. Either of these funds will have a lasting positive effect on the community that Skip loved so much.

Call if you have questions about anything. Love to you all, Jackie.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010 —Excuses, take your pick

My apologies to regular readers for the long time away. Lots of excuses. Sometimes it's welcome but unexpected company, sometimes it's just plain procrastination or writer's block and sometimes it's an honest to goodness emergency.

That's what it was Monday morning just before I was going to come in and do a blog entry that I had almost composed in my sleep. I walked to my garage to find a can of paint I had bought for Carlos to paint the old, old wooden outdoor furniture in anticipation of the celebration attendees who may want to sit from time to time. While walking along the side of the garage I tripped on a cement walkway and spun out of control. I landed with the right side of my loose cotton sweater wrapped around the faucet handle of a water pipe. The faucet was above my head by about two feet as I lay on the ground in a state of shock. Probably because of my compromised state it took me almost ten minutes to extricate my vertically elevated inner arm from the faucet. My loose sweater had somehow wrapped itself around the pipe in a kind of vise-grip manner. To get on with the story, I made myself a piece of toast and some tea to take to the ER because we all know how many hours you can spend there.

Carlos was upset with me because I wouldn't let him drive me, but, again, you know how long he'd undoubtedly have to wait..... and I really wanted those chairs to get painted during the morning while he was here. He asked me to raise up my sleeve and that was when I began to realize that I had truly gouged myself. His jaw dropped and he looked like he was going to faint. I still wasn't feeling all that bad, so I insisted that I drive off with my tea and my Kindle. I lucked out with a really good triage nurse who got me into a cubby pretty quickly and they began telling me what they were going to do. First the anesthetic and then the careful irrigation and cleaning and then the sew-up. A lovely young woman doctor took over and we had a good conversation while she practiced her art. I had to return to the ER later in the afternoon because I had bled through the bandages and three different shirts and was getting a little tired of that. The same nurse was still on duty (12 hour shift) when I arrived and she applied a new dressing using a different approach with treated gauze, then wrapping gauze, then elastic wrap, then final taping above and below. Because of the location of the laceration, every time I moved my right arm at all and especially when I had to flex my arm, it wasn't more than a few hours before I was oozing blood through all that gauze. So I walked around with quadrupled paper towels held onto my wounded arm by thick rubber bands. By the time I awakened this morning the whole bandage was completely off of the damaged area .... sort of like an artful, organic kind of textile bracelet hanging just above my wrist.

By yesterday afternoon I received a phone call from Lolli in Fort Bragg who said she had heard from my neighbor to whom I had not said a word, who heard from a friend in San Francisco who had heard from my Canyon daughter in law who had heard from our Kathy that Mama was injured, and would he please go over and see how bad it really was. This is actually just a shaggy dog statement from me describing how much my life has changed since we lost Skip.

Before I launched into my story of the damage I had done to my flesh, I had fully intended to discuss my latest findings regarding the grieving process. The flesh thing has turned out to be so long I'll save the rest for another day. I just want to tell you that I am doing very well .....most of the time. I've decided that grieving is a bit like being hit by a tsunami. First it drains you completely and then, just when you least expect it, it comes roaring back at you. It is a real case of final growing up with a steep learning curve. I know I'm strong, thoroughly engaged, living in a place that I adore and among the most comforting friends and family anyone could ever have. But at some moments, I still can hardly fathom the recent events and my current circumstance. A steep, steep learning curve.

For those who are joining us next week on Sunday the 26th, please email me if you need a map or any other information. We're starting at 2:00 with some words of recollection after which we intend to celebrate Skip's life and comfort each other with music, food (potluck) and good conversation to the end of the day. Much love to all.