December 15, 2010 — Joan Didion revisited

I had read The Year of Magical Thinking several years ago and then passed it on to a Pacific Textile Arts rummage sale because I didn't anticipate reading it a second time. Just a bit dark was my first overall impression. Several days ago a group of friends suggested I read it and even when I told them I'd already read it, they kept up their enthusiastic pressure. I rethought the issue and placed a copy of the book on my Kindle. I reread it in a day and a half in spare moments and still marvel at how different my reaction was this second time around. I'm amazed at how much faster one reads an E-book than a conventional volume, probably because the font size can be enlarged and page turning is so instant. Every word resonated this time. It is a perfect example of what a difference context plays in your reception to a book. All the "key" words are there. Didion's usual cool is blanketed in candid descriptions of the waves of realization that come on one so unexpectedly. She spoke of self pity and all it's negative connotations with deeply felt introspection, describing it with all the right words. I'm so glad I listened to my friends and took a second look at this valuable search for the answers to the evolving questions that surfaced over the year following her husband's sudden death.

I had just finished Mark Vonnegut's second book, examining his life in a free form fashion. Perhaps because of my reading and listening, last week was filled with elevated awareness and stimulating experience. The radio provided a running collection of Dave Brubeck reviews and celebrations of his 90th birthday. So many memories came to the surface as narrators discussed Brubeck with many of his fellow players and contemporaries. It brought back those evenings at the Blackhawk, watching and listening to him when we were undergraduates. It was impossible not to renew one's appreciation for his brilliance as a player, composer and producer of gorgeous music.

I think I was affected by music more than usual this last week. I drove down Sherwood Road one morning listening to violins in a moving piece that I can't even name at this moment. Violins can bring me to tears and cause me to dwell upon thoughts of my changed life. They can also be so soothing. In the space of just minutes I'm crying and then smiling. I can't think of anything that can cause an instant mood change more quickly than a beautifully composed string movement. We're hugely fortunate to have such high calibre programmers giving their time to KZYX, our local Mendocino public radio station. It really doesn't matter whether they're playing jazz or classical music, they make my life richer and more filled with appreciation for the moment at hand.