Wednesday, November 17, 2010 — Hurray for the pendulum

Since I was a small child I have had a strong faith in the "swinging" of the pendulum. That old belief that when things got to the bottom of the barrel, there would finally be nowhere to go but up. I guess it's pretty simplistic, but it's comforting and it always seems to work. If you prefer to be happy, it's easy to fall back on this crutch. This last week definitely was a visit to the dark side where you don't really want to be. Along with this period come all the self defeating tendencies that carry you from bad to worse. I woke up one of those mornings regretful of all the self pity I had expressed the day before in the blog. In the morning, as some of you know, I withdrew that blog entry. I retreated into isolation which is definitely counter productive for a sociable person who prefers the company of others at least some of the time. But when you're so down in the dumps you just don't want to inflict your somber mood or any negativity on your friends. I missed boule which I had thoroughly planned to play Sunday, and I missed the dinner and auction in Caspar which I'm sure I would have loved.

Then, at the beginning of this week I was told that the Fire Suppression Authority was definitely going to require installation of fire sprinklers in our old buildings being sold to Pacific Textile Arts for one dollar each. Our contractor and others in the know keep telling me that we were lucky the Fire Department based our requirement on a residential designation rather than commercial. If the commercial designation had prevailed, we would have faced paying in the neighborhood of 50K to 75K, but because we were so "lucky" to be put in the residential category we'd only have to pay about 10K to 15K for this installation. Thats money which we had not budgeted. Pretty clear that after the week I'd just had, this new "lower" cost was the last straw. I walked out of the contractor's office and the fire department barely able to suppress my tears until I was out in the cold. No, it couldn't have gotten much worse in my book. But then the pendulum thing kicked into my consciousness and I began to calm down. It really does work. That sobering up brought me eventually to another coping mechanism I've used all my adult life. The old "two sides of the paper list method" is what I'm talking about. I'm sure many of you use that one all the time. It has a way of bringing you back to a new reality or at least it usually allows you to gain some perspective. After all that, I'm definitely on the mend. Somehow we're going to get those buildings moved across town and into their new surroundings. Too many good people have contributed to our building fund for this project to just give up.

Last night Sheila O'Hara came to spend the night with me before giving a fabulous lecture today at the Art Center in Mendocino. She's so incredibly productive and creative that it just brings a huge smile to my face. And she's soooooo funny too. Always has been. And her sense of humor shines through in all of her artwork. It was great to have her here if only for a short time.

Tonight I've been listening to the radio. Jamie Roberts' spoken arts program with Sir John Gilgud telling the story of the Emperor's new clothes followed a great edition of "All things computed" on our endlessly interesting KZYX. We're so lucky to have this eclectic station that sparkles with intelligent programming, creativity and generosity. Guess you can tell that I'm much better, and it feels so good. Thanks Adriane, Karen and Sue for your kind and comforting words. It brings me a new dose of confidence in the future. Love to all from a better place.