Sunday, November 7, 2010 — Up and down

I'm now thinking that grieving may bear a strong similarity to what it's like to be bipolar. Is this possible? Months ago I wouldn't have thought so. But I am experiencing something that seems to suggest exactly this. I was warned that there would be unexpected downturns in my spirits but I hadn't quite believed how unpredictable it could be. I'm much more inclined to encourage the up side. I like to be happy.

Right now I'm watching a "Nature" program on Channel 9 about the efforts to restore wetlands to an area in Iraq where the Tigris and Euphrates rivers were walled off to wipe out the wetlands Arab people by Sadam Hussein. A man whose father used to be a wetlands engineer and who had finally escaped to California has returned to this area near Basra to attempt to restore these wetlands for the people, the birds and all the animals who live in and around the river. The swarms of birds being shown on the screen are a cause for intense pleasure. This man formed a group called Nature Iraq. They think there are about 40,000 birds that have returned to this spot since 2005. This is an extraordinary film and the sighting of an Iraq Babbler is bringing wild excitement to the screen. An early morning trip out onto the river reveals a huge flock of a very special kind of Flamingo. Wow! But then the mood changes as it is brought to light that there is a severe draught here, caused by the increasing construction of dams upstream in the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. A woman speaks of how it used to be and how her water buffalo have all died because of the draught. The scene changes again as they make one more exploration to see the rare Basra Reed Warbler. On goes the narration, describing half solutions to some of the problems of providing water to the wetlands. It shows Italians giving generators to support some of the project's needs. Tribal disputes are depicted and the safety of the film crew is threatened. Check this film out! You can evidently see much more footage by going to PBS.org. and clicking on "Nature." The imagery is breathtaking and gives one hope that all of Iraq may eventually have a chance of being restored. I'm now looking at a whole nest full of rare Basra Warbler nestlings. This is definitely an up time! I didn't start out to talk about a television program but sometimes you just have to follow where the moment leads you. This was actually a good example of the circumstances that will bring about a "high" time for someone in my state of being.

When something suddenly propels you into a deeply descending mood, it can be just as unexpected. You see some familiar handwriting, or carry out a task that often used to be shared, or something simply wrenches your gut without warning. At those moments, I wonder how it is possible to accept this new reality. Then a friend arrives to pick up the last of her equipment from the recent workshop and it is possible to become distracted by discussing the success of the class and the excitement of learning so many new things. You go through the motions and before you know it, there is a temporary new reality and you are back to the up end of things. So it seems to go. The rest of the day proceeds on a level plane. And so it goes.